Margold Completes the Peyote Ceremony

     He started to row toward the large ship. At first the water was calm, but after a few minutes large waves came up, tossing the little row boat around violently. He could no longer see the large ship, but rode up and down on huge waves. At the crest of each wave he could look over the side of the row boat and see down to the trough of the wave, seemingly hundreds of feet below him. He knew from experience that he easily became seasick, but because he was sitting down the effects were
delayed. The boat rose to the crest of a wave, spun about, and then went to the bottom of the trough of the wave, where he could see above him a mountain of water. The sky turned from a brilliant blue to a black, and the water began to glow green. Then he was tossed from the boat into the water, and began to sink very rapidly, as though a lead weight had been tied to his feet. The water did not get darker as he descended, but continued to glow green and blue. He felt himself being dragged down into the water, floating as in a great void–like being in space–or as he imagined space to be.

     Although in the water at a great depth, he realized that he was breathing. Maybe he was a fish, or in a dream, where you could do shit like breathe under water. With that thought a great fish came up from below him and intercepted him so that he sat in its back. Oh great, his spirit guide was a fish 20,000 leagues under the goddamn sea. He rode the fish like a cowboy as it picked up speed and descended into the sea. He felt the pressure of the sea increase rapidly, but he was still able to see and to breathe. Then he remembered that he had been taking hits of peyote. He really needed to stick to gin. The fish continued to descend ever deeper into the sea. What was the matter with him? Eating peyote to get rid of Death? He had to be out of his ever-loving mind. Then the fish spoke.

     The fish did not actually move its mouth, but he heard a voice that he knew came from the fish. “Behold,” it said. The water folded back like a frame of a movie melting after stopping in front of the projector lamp, revealing a black sky full of glitter and sparkling light. He was no longer on the fish in the sea, but floating all by himself in space.

     At first he held his breath, because he knew that in space there was no air. He also realized, however, that neither was he wearing a space suit. He figured he should explode or freeze to death in a matter of seconds. But here he was, floating in space with no gear and able to breathe. “Why didn’t I hear about this peyote thing before,” he wondered out loud. “I know I ain’t in space, that this is all just one big fucking hallucination.” With the utterance of those words the scene in front of him folded open like a flower blooming in a time lapse video, and there he was, back in the field looking at the buck, which stood only a few feet from him.

     “What do you want from me?” the buck asked, or at least Margold heard the voice as though it were coming from the buck, the buck not actually speaking in the normal sense.

     “Are you my animal spirit guide?” Margold asked.

     “Yes,” the buck answered, “that, and more.”

     “And you have the power to grant requests, sort of like God answering prayers?”

     “Yes.”

     “Then I would like you to get Death off my back.”

     The buck stood looking at him in the light of late afternoon, shaking his head and snorting. Margold could see a fog of small insects flying around the buck’s head in the sun, like a halo. “It is not Death that is after you,” the buck said finally.

     This was a surprise to Margold, as more than one mystical person had seen Death hanging around him, and he had in fact talked to Death in person on more than one occasion.

     “Well, now,” Margold began, furrowing his brow, “then who have the mystics seen, and who was it I spoke to in my TV room, and in my kitchen?”

     Margold heard in the background the drumming and chanting, and the buck, without answering, melted away and vanished, and Margold found himself sitting by the fire with Indian Jim and the chanters.

     “Drink some water,” Jim said, seeing that Margold was back with them.

     Margold realized that his mouth was dry, and he almost had a feeling of being healed. He told Indian Jim about the visions, and about the deer telling him that it was not Death that was after him, hoping for an interpretation. Jim told him that he would have to contemplate it, and would give it to him tomorrow.

     The sun was just rising over the horizon, spreading bright orange light on the tops of the trees behind them.

     “Now it’s time to have some food,” Jim said, and they went into the house to eat.